Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Its over.

So D and I are done. He didn't even have the balls to call me, he sent me an email. In a nut shell he said he was sorry for not being able to tell me how he feels, its one of his biggest faults and he's working on it with his councilor. He also said he's not ready for me to follow him somewhere. So that was it. I sent him an email back saying that I hope he finds what he's looking for and that I hope he has enough respect for the next woman to act like an adult and tell her how he feels.

I'm pissed, I'm hurt. I feel like the last 2 years was a waist. He still never even told me what I was to him. I guess I kind of knew all along that I loved him more than he did me, if he even loved me at all. But that doesn't make it any easier. I feel stupid. I guess its asking a lot to have someone feel the same way about me as I do about them. I can't seem to get on the same wavelength with anyone.

Part of me wants to start dating right away, but then I know that right now I'm not in a good place for that. I know it wouldn't be fair for me to start seeing someone just so I could make myself feel better about being me. What if Mr. Right gets away because I'm not ready to love him yet? Besides, right now I can't imagine myself with anyone else. I don't think that I could be with D even he had a sudden change of heart, but I can't be with anyone else yet either.


Megan said...

This sucks Jess. Hope you're OK *Hug* Xx

Jess said...

So sorry Jess :(

Cystic Gal said...

Time to turn over a new leaf and find a way to sigh a sigh of relief that you didn't end up with this guy who is ultimately not the one for you. You need someone with much stronger character and ability to love, and you will find him. Love, cg