My awesome Christmas presents!

So I got my presents from D late because the place he ordered them from was lazy. So we had Christmas on New Years Day! I got him a new DVD player because he had this old clunky DVD/VCR combo that was really touchy with the DVDs. But he wouldn't replace it because he had a copy of Pulp Fiction on VHS and its his favorite movie. So I also got him a copy of the collectors edition of Pulp Fiction on DVD. Then I got him a t-shirt with a hoopty ride and a couple gnomes. It said Ridin with my gnomies on it. He's into gnomes.

He got me a cooking tutor for my Nintendo DS! Its very cool, I can make shopping lists on it based on the recipes, exlude things I don't like, and there are TONS of recipes on it! And, best of all; he got me a new Toshiba laptop!! My old one had been rebuilt and given to me. While I really appreciate that from the friend who gave it to me, it was old and slow. So this is so awesome!! I can actually stream video now! Yay! Thanks babe!

2009

Since we're saying good-bye to 2009 I thought I would take a few minutes to reflect on the year. And unfortunately its the bad stuff that seems to stand out. There were too many deaths for starters. D's sister, B's mom, Jenn, Courtney, Ginger, Paul, and Mel. The last 4 in the last 6 weeks of the year. Then of course D was deployed again, and that was just as hard if not harder than the 2008 deployment. I was diagnosed with CFRD. My fibromyalgia has been out of control most of the year. I had my first hospitalization for anything CF related, and it was a whopper. You may remember the partially collapsed lung causing me horrible pain. And my cat dissappeared. So with all this stuff hanging over the year, lets talk about the good, even if it was small.

I got my new teeth!! YAY! I had sinus surgery (I know that seems like a bad, and it did suck) and now I can breathe through my nose and I get results from sinus rinses!! D came home!! I got my CF tattoo that I'd been dreaming of for years. I got my port, no more PICCs for me! I got back into knitting and crocheting. I got to hang out with my friend Tally for a weekend before she moved. On that trip I got to see 65_RedRoses and meet Eva. I made a trip to the CF center in Denver. I bought my first digital camera! I got oxygen after 13 months of fighting with my CF doctors. I found a new primary doctor that I love. I taught myself to knit socks. I went to a ZZ Top concert.

So there 2009! You threw a lot at me. But I'm no worse for it. In fact I'm better. I was reminded of how important my friends and family are, and I told them so. And as much as I miss those who passed away, I know that they are watching out for me. So I came out on top once again. 2010 will bring new challenges and heart aches, but I can handle it. With the love and support of my family, my friends, and my cysters I can handle anything.

Post sinus surgery.

Let's talk about snot for my 100th post, what do ya say!?

Seriously, since I got the splints out things have been really good. My septum isn't nearly as sore as it was, just a little bit. Sinus rinses are whole new experience for me. I wasn't very good about doing them before because I never really got good results. But now whenever I do it, the good just kinda comes out almost on its own! The first couple of times after getting the splints out I got some clots, but nothing too horrible. Now its slime, but I don't even have to blow hard to get it out. I just kind of exhale through my nose to get the water out and this stuff comes with it. Its great!! I think the water is able to flow through my sinuses the way its supposed to now so the rinses are actually working! YAY!

I can tell I'm moving air better too. I can sit for long periods of time breathing through my nose and I don't feel short of breath at all. So, as miserable as I was the week after the surgery I am glad that I did it. I do hope I never have to do it again....but I would if I had to.

"Never say never" by the Fray.

Click on the title of this entry to listen to the song.

Ok, not that I'm planning on going anywhere, but with 4 friends dying lately this song has taken on a lot of meaning for me. A lot of it applies to my relationship with my cysters. We made a pact, no one goes anywhere! I really like the part "I will be your guardian when all is crumbling." That's how we are with each other. When something bad happens to one of us, the others lift her up and she doesn't feel alone. And even when one is gone, they aren't really. We still remember them, love them, and we know we'll see them again. I also like "We're falling apart and coming together again and again and again." I love you guys!!

Sinus surgery.

Here we are, one week out of surgery. I haven't felt like blogging much, appologies.

Anyway, my dad came to take me to the surgery and help me out (hurray for dad!). We got up way before the ass crack of dawn on Friday to go to the hospital. Got checked in and went back to pre-op. I got changed, peed in a cup for a pregnancy test, and got asked about 4000 questions. They stuck a nausea patch on me, and that was great!! I left it on for 3 days and never once got nauseaus! I am asking for that again if I ever need another surgery. It was also really nice to have my port! NO IV!!

I woke up and my lungs were pretty rattley, but the stuff was nice and thin (thank you antibiotics) and easy to move. I had an oxygen mask on, which is good, I always drop my sats when I'm out for surgery. I had splints in each nostril so my nose felt really packed and dry, not painful but uncomfortable. After they made sure I was doing ok and I went to the bathroom I was able to go home. Dad and I were home by noon, he called mom to tell her everything went fine. I parked in my comfy chair and dozed for a bit. I had a little bit of bleeding, but not too bad.

For the week nothing special happened. I would rinse my sinuses several times a day. I felt pretty crappy though. I couldn't breathe through my nose, smell anything, could hardly taste anything, my nose was constantly drippy, and I slept like crap because I had to breathe through my nose and my mouth would get SO dry. It was pretty miserable. But today I went and the splints taken out. That was horrible. They were held in with a stitch in my septum and it hurt like hell when the doctor cut it and pulled it out. Then he started yanking on these things. OUCH! I made the mistake of opening my eyes right when the first one came out. It was HUGE and covered with snot. Way gross. Then he pulled the other one out, suctioned my nose, and started telling me what to do for the next week or so. Then I started to feel like I was going to pass out. Very nauseaus, dizzy, and sweating like a pig. The doc laid me back, got me a cool towel and a drink of water. I was there for about 20 minutes and most of it was me trying not to pass out. So that SUCKED.

I do feel MUCH better now though. I can breathe through my nose, smell, eating is a lot more fun. I took a nap when I got home and didn't wake up with my mouth dried out!!! It felt so good to sleep good for 4 hours! Overall I guess I'm glad I did the surgery because I am moving more air through my nose, but I really hope I never need another sinus surgery!

Sinus surgery.

My surgery went fine today! I got home around noon (YAY) and parked my butt in my super comfy chair. I took a nap for a little bit and I've eaten some, and drank lots. I had a little bit of bleeding but its stopped now. The pain isn't bad, mostly it just feels like huge boogers in my nose. I've been taking half a percocet and then it feels better. I have some tubes in my nose so that I can use my oxygen. Last but not least, my dad is here to take of me.

I feel.....

....defeated. Exuse the lack of posts lately. Two more CFers have passed. And I just haven't been able to bring myself to talk about it yet. Ginger had H1N1. It looked like she was getting better too. I haven't even heard the details of what happened in her last few days. Paul had a transplant but with lots of complications. He got a few months where he felt pretty good, but then started to decline.

Now another friend isn't doing well. She's bi-pap pretty much all the time. Has serious back pain that they can't seem to figure out. My friend is hurting, and I'm scared for her. Prayers, well wishes, good vibes, or whatever, would be appreciated.