Wednesday, June 9, 2010


After my fibromyalgia class (I think of it as a class, I'm learning a new way of life) today I had a huge epiphany. I used to be extremely athletic. I loved volleyball, I lived and breathed it. It was my passion. I was an athlete through and through. So whenever a doctor would get on me about excersising I would think "ok, I know how to excersise!" And I would go out and do volleyball drills, lift weights, and run. And then I would be in so much pain that I could barely move for the next week. I'd get depressed and discouraged. Eventually I just thought "I guess I can't excersise anymore."

Today I realized that I have to stop thinking about it as training. I'm recovering. Recovering is harder than training in every way. Its definately harder physically, as well as mentally and emotionally. I didn't think of my physical therapy after my shoulder surgery as training. I was trying to get better. They started me off small, then built on that once I gained more mobility and strength. This is no different. I can't jump in the deep end and expect to swim.

For the first time in years I have hope of getting better and getting back into shape. It might take a long time, and I'll probably have setbacks. But that's ok. I'm learning the skills I'll need to bounce back from those setbacks. I'm learning how to get better.


Lindsay said...

Hi Jess.. My name is Lindsay and im from CA. Fellow CFer, double lung recepient 13 monthas ago, 27 yrs old. I know just how you feel. Id love to get in touch with you and chat. (my journal)

Lindsay said...

i think i might have deleted you when you sent me that message :(