Monday, March 9, 2009


I just finished working 8 days in a row and I am DONE! I am SO tired, and the weather has been scitzo so I've been really achey, then my tummy decided it didn't like the chinese food from last night so I have (literally) rip roaring gas and bad stomach cramps. I forgot to put needles for my insulin in my "CFRD stuff" case so I barely ate anything all day to try to keep my sugar from spiking. Probably better for my stomach anyway.

D leaves for Afghanistan in 6 weeks or so. Uhg. I don't know if its better or worse this time, knowing what I will be going though. Knowing how painful this will be, how much I will miss him. He is going to move out of his house, put his stuff in storage, and stay with a friend until he leaves. The problem here is that this friend is someone he used to date. He said she has a lot of baggage and was really clingy. So on the one hand, my "gonna be the cool girlfriend" side says it will be fine. But my "always a bit paranoid about how much men think with their cock" side says that this is not a good situation. I have no rational reason NOT to trust him. I don't know. Part of me is still astonished that someone as great as him wants to be with me. Me and all my diseases, my decaying body. Could he really love me enough to watch me waist away, then possibly go through transplant, then eventually waist away again? I know people like that are out there, but have I really found one? Am I really that lucky?

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